Latent Inhibition

Going through the card catalog the other night I stumbled upon conditioned taste aversion, and remembered how fascinated I was with it when I first learned that it existed. It explains why I HATED pepperoni pizza for about 2 or 3 years after being overwhelmed by the stomach flu on the way home from a birthday party at Round Table when I was 5. I remember it clearly.

One thing led to another, I guess.

I read an article about a girl who makes crochet graffiti and I think that's about the smartest thing I've heard in a month of Sundays.

It also makes me wonder what it is exactly that I've been aiming for all of this time I've been hustling. Isn't it similar to the feeling she must have gotten when she turned the wall street bull into a neon installation?

Jeez. And I spent a whole 36 hours in Seattle and didn't even bother to venture past the hotel restaurant for food.

Am I inherently just a fucking hermit? Do I have my fists closed?

Sometimes I think I do. And that I've grown so used to the feeling of holding on to stuff that I don't even notice how it can be harmful. Latent inhibition, I think?

But then.

I wonder how else a person is supposed to climb a thing.

And of course then I wonder: should I be climbing it, at all?

But first, what next. Always first: what next?

Which leads me to where I started - thinking about what's next. I can apply my ability to think up Next Steps elsewhere, I am sure.

Diversification is a good look. The world changes too often and too quickly to be walking around with a half-sharpened pencil.

But it's not like I have to stop hustling. I just need to. Sprinkle it. Maybe spend less evenings working on my couch. I could be sewing instead.

The fog is rolling in and it's Saturday night. I have spreadsheets to do.

Bonsoir.


@ my fingertips
all the wonders of seattle, as seen from the bed next to mine.