White Flagging

And so I say. From here, in the comfort of my bed. Looking forward to a grand birthday celebration tomorrow and a reuniting with a long lost and dear friend on Sunday. Well. So I say.

Fuck it.

Sometimes that's all a person can say, you know? If you have given your last ha'penny to the wretched and downtrodden. If you have said your last kind thing to a person who has nothing kind to say in return. If you have laid yourself bare and defenseless, offered your last bit of true self that you have to offer a thing. And if you have mended fences until you are all out of wood and nails.

Well. You just gotta let yourself say "Fuck it" and go on with your business.

Take back up your sword and shield. Throw some cold river water on your face. Pack up your furs and trinkets and totems. Put them all into a sack that you tie to the end of a stick and just say:

Fuck it.

Let the road ahead bring what it may. It will bring lots. Ups and downs alike. But nothing more difficult, nothing more trying, nothing more yawn-inducing and nothing more predictable than what you've just seen and you can know that for goddamn sure.


estria is the shit

I should be at this party I got invited to. Or at another one that I heard about. Or maybe on my roof eating strawberries watching the moon get fuller.

But I'm tired. And over it. And blah.

I had three close calls, two near misses, one argument and zero surprises today. I shall count this one as a draw.

And a person can't ask for much more than that.

At dinner the other night Robin handed me a tiny book of Buddha's teachings. I'm not deep enough to absorb it all yet, but it's still worthy of meditation.

May I be free from fear. May I be free from suffering.
May I be happy. May I be filled with loving kindness.
May you be free from fear. May you be free from suffering.
May you be happy. May you be filled with loving kindness.
May all people everywhere be happy and filled with loving kindness.