Lost One

My bizzle. Been too busy. Either that or distracted. Maybe both. Been too something to come here with my heart all torn open. Still am, I think.

All I got is facts.

Fact: My recent Google history includes "what time is it in ireland" - I do not remember when I wondered that.

Fact: Early morning on Sunday, like 5AM or so? Some guy walked down the middle of my street yelling "FUCK YOOOOOU" over and over again at the top of his lungs. With gusto. His anger was enough to give me daymares.

Fact: Virgin America is the hottest shit ever as far as flying is concerned. Their airplanes are like discos and if you upgrade you get bottomless champagne.

Fact: I spent thirty two hours and five hundred dollars in Seattle last week.

Fact: I didn't buy a single pair of sneakers. I didn't even take a trip up the Space Needle.

Fact: I am not cut out for cold weather. It does not give me flushed and rosy skin. It gives me shivers, and makes me angry.

Fact: I got to work just before ten this morning.

Fact: I just finished working like five minutes ago.

Fact: I always wanted to be one of those chicks in the Duran Duran "Rio" video, but I am about a foot too short.

Fact: I will never be called "statuesque".

Fact: I need a lady in waiting.

Fact: I almost bought a fuchsia muscle car about a week ago, with white racing stripes and matching leather interior.

Fact: That would have been a dumb move and made it nigh impossible to move into the dreamy loft I have half-planned.

Fact: I still haven't written the fuchsia car off completely. I named her Pinkie Lee before I had a choice in the matter.

Fact: Perhaps a pet bunny or a teacup piglet would be a more worthwhile investment.

Fact: I haven't had a proper vacation in about three years.

Fact: Sayulita is calling me.


I have reached the point at work where I have so much to do that my list is almost useless. I write it to meditate, but then everything gets changed or I forget to cross things off. I am not being mindful of the present moment. I worry that my life is passing me by and later all I'll have to show for it is a lot of open space and a gang of words that no one's ever bothered to read.

I watched Enter the Void the other night. It made me sad beyond belief.

There is alone. And there is lonely. I've always made a point of distinguishing between the two. You can be one, neither or both.

I cannot tell for sure which I am, day to day.

But right this very moment I am neither.

Buena suerte.