Revised, Revised

Okay so I figured something out the other day. Lately I have been having these dreams that feel like movies to me when I wake up. Meaning that I can walk through the narrative pretty clearly from end to end with perspective shifts along the way. When I tell it I get the feeling of camera cuts. This thing from my perspective. This thing from someone else's perspective (who is also me, as I've begun to realize even in my dreams now after enough psychoanalysis to have missed out on one hundred pairs of special edition Nikes it is ALWAYS FUCKING ME), this other thing, this other angle, this other part of the story.

Right? Are you following me? I'll tell you why I might not be making sense in a minute. But first I have to finish this.

But the other morning I had an epiphany. I was laying in bed rehashing this pretty awesome and pretty epic tale of me being asked to watch a very action-filled gas station kiosk when I realized that it wasn't camera cuts. I had the dream. I had the dream again (from another perspective) and I had the dream again (from yet another perspective). Maybe even once more.

And I know. I know I know I know that sounds fucking batty. But I am certain of it. Positive. And yeah maybe it all happens in a split second but it feels very linear and like an incredibly long process.

Oh and even battier? As I get through each version I know what I learned from the last version. So in the first round I'll dream that I'm working in the gas station kiosk and someone cuts the lights off, right? Round two I'll be the group of hoodlums cutting off the lights and watching the whole street go dark. Then in round three when the lights go off and I'm back in the kiosk (this time as the person who asked the other me to man the gas station kiosk in the first place) I'm all "oh shit those damn hoodlums cut the lights at that circuit box under the over pass". CAUSE I FUCKING DID IT IN THE LAST ROUND.

And yes. I totally know. I am sounding bananacakes, right? I swear to you this happened the other morning and when I realized it things made so much more sense to me.

Oh but I owe you an explanation about why I may be completely nonsensical right now. Well. I got work high again, which is kind of rad cause my day flies by but kind of bad cause I forget to eat until dinner time because I am doing one of the following things at every single second of the day: sitting in a meeting, writing notes about a meeting, meeting to review notes or writing a description of something that may or may not happen in the near future so that I can then schedule a meeting to review it. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

So tonight finds me in that awesome/not awesome state where I have worked my brain until it stopped working, but can't quite shut it off. What you end up with is rambling. What you end up with is an extremely fucking detailed description of the way I dream that may or may not be accurate. Haven't had the time to vet this with my therapist, you see.

Anyway. I am so tired I'm hoping that I'll just fall asleep after clicking PUBLISH POST but I get the feeling that won't happen. And if it does I'll just dream today again. Over and over. From different perspectives.

I shall keep you posted.

Night.