Time Machine 9/24/2009 - Most Quiet Need

Best not to snap your neck trying to tell someone all of the different ways that you love them. Even if you are trying to be poetic, or save the moment, or get them to have sex with you. I'm telling you this because I know it. That sort of inventory never pays off because:

a) y'all two have totally different definitions of what love is, that is guaranteed
b) to top that you also both have totally different definitions of yourselves, which makes things even more complicated

So it's all wah wah wah wah like Charlie Brown's teachers. Realize now that true communication of what you are feeling isn't possible. It's just not. Not yet.

Some day though I'll be able to plug my brain into your brain, or vice versa. Some day we'll both get to feel the same things at the same exact time. That will end some of the alone-ness, but then we'll find that isolation takes place in other ways. Because that's being human and that trumps everything else.



All day lately I've been thinking about the Future. With a capital "F", as in everyone's. Not just what I'm going to wear tomorrow, or whether or not I'm going to order katsu from the sushi place when I get home from work.

The real future. What's that actually gonna be like?

For now I have a fishnet obsession, and my sneaker collection is growing. And did I tell you? That job I took that was just a contract turned full-time this week. Cause they like me. They really like me.

Do I like me?

Working on that.

In the meantime it is just hustle, and one foot in front of the other. And negotiations and predictions and educated guesses and calculated risks. And jazzy outfits.

xoxoxo.

Sleep Well.