Apparently this is fairly common. The waking up halfway and feeling paralyzed. Less common but still not noteworthy is the waking up and feeling like someone is standing near you, just out of sight. I have had that happen to me fairly regularly since I was 8 years old.
But last night what happened after I signed off here was something different. I woke up halfway and instead of someone in my room there was someone in my bed. Terrified and full of struggles, I was. Cause I couldn't move and couldn't speak but I could see it all. My comforters and windows. Same as always. My pillows. The blinking light of my Blackberry telling me that work was calling. I saw all of it.
And right next to me, up until the moment that I finally shook myself awake. Right next to me there was someone. A man. No idea who he was but at the last minute he grabbed my hands and I felt it. Like real life. He said something I could not understand and I ran away mentally. I shut that door.
I would like very much to be the brave little lady that I portray in the picture above. Housewifey. Knowing no bounds. Queen of my domain.
Tonight if he visits again I'll try to be that little lion loving savage. I'm not scared of a goddamn thing, you know?
Waiting for file transfers means I got home from work very late tonight yet again. Texted an ex that worked at a club on the route I take home. Sent my undying love to everyone who does and does not deserve it.
Still again. Alone.
Don't know if my spirit man will return. And if he does, not sure it's for better or worse. I'm thinking he might be a surrogate for my OTL. If so, I should have been a bit more welcoming.
I want it all. Not just some of it. I can send my love out into the universe infinitely. I have so very much. I can't afford to be choosy about how it returns, now can I?
I. Win. Everything. Always.
I'm bold enough to withstand the love of ghosts, half-mortals, shamans and human beings. I'm timeless.
You are too. If you can't tell, ask a 5 year old for guidance. They will let you know.
Good Night.
howdy, just stumbled across your page. i've had the same occurrence since 14yrs old. i believe my visitors were some sort of shadow people (who the f* knows). I don’t usually dabble in ritual, however About 3 years ago I performed my own, partially made-up ritual of blessing some tap water and sprinkling it around all four corners of my bedroom, while repeating my intentions in my head: “those beings are banned from invading my personal space, period, ever… etc” Whatever you want to say I guess. So far it’s worked (I haven’t had to repeat the ritual since moving either). Okay, off I go now, bye.
ReplyDeletei am on the fence about it so i'm scared to ban them. i think that makes we really weird, but i always wonder if there's something i'm supposed to learn. it's a little deep, a little scary and a little magical. but i shall keep this in mind in case it ever gets too wild even for me. thanks, stranger.
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