Sometimes

There are some days when you just say "fuck it". About something, or someone. Or a habit or pattern.

Today for me it was just deciding my sneakers didn't matter and I had to walk out to the ocean. No choices. I drove out from my homeboy's house, like 10 or 15 minutes. Next thing I know I'm at the edge of the continent.

It was mad windy. Like. Sand flying in my face and clothes and eyes and arms. Stinging my legs.



For 10 or 15 seconds I wondered what if it was 110 degrees? What if I had no water or food? What if I was being hunted and only just HOPING I was headed for something better than dead meat, or someone else's target practice.

10 to 15 seconds. That's the window I'm allowing reality lately. I read about Aiyana Jones the other morning. At the same time, for the first time, I heard Sade's "Babyfather" cause it was playing on the tee vee.

I cried. Off and on all day. Not really very savage of me.

So the 10 to 15 seconds have to be truly transformational. Those seconds are the difference between me and Everyone Else.



Raggedy Anarchy reminded me today how important it is to speak with conviction. There's a time for question marks, for sure. But a person's life should also have plenty of periods.

I been dreaming twice and three times a night lately, the same dream again and again. Refining even in my sleep.

I want to elevate and stay clear as a bell in the coming week. Wish me luck.