Temperance: Day 3 - What. The. Fuck.

Hey there. It was quite an evening. The clouds cleared for a bit and shit got real. Or rather, realizations occurred. To keep things spicy let's go with a Q&A format:

Q: You know what I'll probably never ever do in my entire life?
A: Drink a quart of salt water for breakfast for a week straight.

Q: You know what else might just be a little bit bonkers?
A: Living on diuretics for 10 days.

Q: Have I done anything ever in my entire life that deserves to be punished with fatigue, headaches and the inability to stand for more than 35 seconds at a time?
A: No, no I don't believe I have.

Q&A done. Now I'll just get all preachy.

You know those lucid dreams that I occasionally have where I am fully immersed and feel as though I'm meeting actual people and walk away with a whole set of new life lessons and a heart full of love? Well. I had one of those last night, except that the main character was in my bed, straddling my chest and shoving a gun at my third eye.

So yeah. Not so much a heart full of love after that one was over. I actually did some radical sleepwalking to check the locks on both of my doors, grab my pocket knife and tuck it under my pillow.

Aaaaaaaaand the headache I've had since yesterday evening is disconcerting. It's noteworthy that I haven't been addicted to caffeine since I stopped drinking Coke Zero 6 months ago. I've gone days without caffeine, no complaints and no side effects. So this number one crush of a headache that I'm rocking is not due to me missing my afternoon frappucino, or whatever.

But you know what's the worst? I feel like I have a hangover. A *fucking* hangover. And meanwhile I'm going out of my way to be sober as a judge.

I did not expect it to be painless. I understand that detoxing off of alcohol and processed sugar and flour and dairy and meat can be brutal. I totally dig that and it makes absolute sense that I wouldn't be exactly stoked right now. I just don't know that the process needs to be exacerbated by an acidic monodiet and the inability to leave my apartment for more than 20 minutes at a time.

As I type this I'm plotting a revolution. A kale smoothie. Jeez louise if I can live on fucking lemonade for 10 days I can live on fresh kale and spinach and blueberries. And then maybe I will have enough energy to actually move my body while I'm cleaning it.

So I haven't given up the cleanse. I'd just like the method to feel a little less dirty, ya know?

I'll keep you posted. Temperance evolves. Temperance continues.