WHAM

I hit a wall. Or it hit me. Unusually hard and with gusto. So I came back here to lick my wounds.

Like the old days I'm making a small clean writing nest for myself which is surrounded by an ocean of discarded outfits and the guts of purses that i turned upside down looking for lipgloss, or whatever.

Like the old days that fact almost bums me out. But this time I wonder at what point we can stop chastising ourselves for things that don't hurt another person. Could all of my ancestors rest if I just said "fuck it I like a messy bedroom"?

I'm waiting on an answer.

I have some spare time lately. I use it to remind myself to stand my body up proud and fully inhabited, to quit slouching into chairs like I'm on my dying breath and to cultivate a resting smile face (more on that later).

Because what is needed right now is grace. And grace starts with the little things.

For the past couple of years I've been the one telling my friends that everything would be alright. And that if they couldn't see it right then it was okay, because what are friends for if not caring for forgotten faith? Leaving breadcrumbs and walking backwards as slowly as needed so that it can be found again.

Or accommodated. In my case I see faith quite clearly. Actually, it's more of an A. A. Milne sort of situation. I can See Faith Quite Clearly. The problem I am up against is finding Time for it.

So Trish, very small Trish. She holds my Faith for me while I play the negligent mother. Later on we will both forget this happened.

I sleep now. Or try to. I think this may have helped.

PS: Forgive this generic ass template. Not sure if it's my new machine but looking at my old template the body copy was like an inch tall and that was making me feel bonkers. I slapped this baby blue shit on to kill the time. I'll be back to fix it. Plus my links and my homies and all that other crappe.

First things first.